Be humble with your positivism

Recently I’ve started discovering the following interesting trend. When I'm totally positive, I have a great time with people who have the same positive attitude. We may laugh together, talk together, dream together, enjoy our life together – we are “on the same wave”. However, there are other people who are not so positive. They evaluate everything from rather the critical point of view, discovering more negativity than positivity in life. When I stay totally positive with such people, our relationship becomes strained.

My dad, whom I love very much, has the same critical mind. Sometimes he sees the good in the things. In this case I may release my positivism and share his “everything is good mood”, because we are on a same wave. However, most of the time he examines the things from the very critical point of view, discovering more obstacles and drawbacks than advantages. Previously in this case I used to be irritated: “Hey, why do you see the bad things in the affair which seems to me good?!” And I used to continue proving my positive vision on some deal. As you may guess, this didn’t bring any results. The more I used to show my positivism, the more dad used to show his negativism. It was like staying at opposite ends of scales.

One moment I decided to stop this struggle. Last Saturday we went to the summer house. I, as usually, was totally positive and my dad was totally critical, so I used to feel that our relationship became strained. After some hours of job in the garden (yep, digging again ;)) I decided to experiment. I came to the dad who was doing something in the garage and said: “Hey, the garage is still swamped!” The dad was slightly surprised because I said a negative thing, what I usually don’t do. The most amazing was that he said something like that: “Ah, that’s ok, we’ll clean up it”. From that moment I felt like the strain removed in our relationship and we spent the great rest of a day.

Now, you see why this happened? As for me, our relationship straightened because we stepped onto the same emotional wave: I made my positive wave closer to the critical wave of dad. From that moment I’ve started to realize that the concept of waves and the balancing  between them applies not only to our moods and relations with other people, but to nearly all that happens to us. But about this in the following posts.

As a summary, you may choose the life attitude which suits you best, however be wise and humble when applying it.